It was a beautiful day today in Halifax. Well, if you can ignore the biting wind, that is. Given that it is Sunday, and that Halifax is rather quiet on Sundays, I decided to take a walk along the harbourfront. That's not really the topic of this post though, so I won't dwell on it too much. Suffice it to say that walking in such close proximity to the ocean made me remember something I saw on an old documentary once: the ocean always wins.
So true. I identify more with fire than with water, but it's very humbling standing next to a body of water that literally could not be stopped if it ever decided to rise up. Earth gets eroded, fire gets quenched, air gets dissolved. Buildings, vehicles, people, animals get swept away and/or drowned. Metal gets rusted. Even other destructive forces like volcanoes are stopped cold by the sea. With the north wind ruffling my too-long hair and my hands tucked into my pockets, I took several lungfuls of sea air (note that we don't say air sea...) and felt very calm and serene. I continued walking, camera around my neck like a dutiful tourist, snap-happy and feeling very at one.
I don't know how far I walked, but I ended up in a Starbucks. Yes I know, big shock. One venti Italian blend in hand, I sat in one of the seats overlooking the junction of Barrington and Brunswick and watched Halifax go by, sun streaming in onto my face. Thoughts came flooding into my head; not the normal day-to-day worries but deeper, more extract thoughts. Thoughts of my son and what I can do to be a better father. Thoughts of her. Write, write, write! Make a difference. How? What can you do with your skills to make a difference? Where am I going? How do I get there? Why do I think in questions?
Some people are able to blank their minds when they are content. They think of nothing, just absorbing and enjoying. I envy that. I can meditate and do it, but I can't remember the last time it came naturally. Think of the things that make you happy, but what if they are the things that cause you pain?
What runs through your head when you are content? What puts you in that zone where your mind switches planes? It's really a fascinating thought, to realise we use so little of our minds. Maybe this is part of our mind that we normally don't use? Without meaning to sound like a braggart, I feel as if I am in tune with many things. I seem to think in a way that most others don't, which is a weakness as much as it can be a strength. My mind goes all over the place but as a result, I can't turn it off and just...be. Really, would I want to?
What was my point again? I forget. Rambling is something I tend to do when I get into one of these finger-flow modes. I've enjoyed today, and maybe even got some value out of it. Isn't that the point?
No comments:
Post a Comment