Allow me to preface this post by saying that this is something of which I have been guilty in the past. Sometimes though it doesn't take much to make you realise what you're doing, and then the onus is squarely on you to change. I am making a commitment to do so as of today.
Sixty years ago, people said things as an everyday matter of course that would be met with repulsion today. That's the nature of language and also a sign of increase in sensibilisation of the majority of adults to the diversity that exists in society today. It wasn't that long ago that it would have been exceptionally rare to see a man with piercings walking down the street, or a person with multiple visible tattoos. Clothing which today scarcely causes one to exercise the eyebrow would in days gone by have prompted gasps and hasty coverings with a handy overcoat. And of course in the very recent past it was almost unheard of for someone to openly admit that they were gay or lesbian, let alone bisexual or transgender.
I have friends in all of those groups, and to me it really doesn't make the blindest bit of difference what their sexual orientation or gender identity is. I believe the vast majority of my straight friends would agree with that. The taboo of what goes on in the bedroom has largely been eradicated and now it's no different than the colour of a person's hair or, dare I venture, their skin. Even in professional sports, which is largely a male-dominated culture and is filled with precisely the "macho" type that used to have major problems with this, we are starting to see more and more acceptance of at least gay men. No we don't have an openly gay active athlete yet, and we will be waiting quite a while for an openly trans athlete I would imagine, but the foothold is there and strides have been made. Those of us who prefer to judge a person based on their personality and nothing else are winning, right?
Well...no. For some reason, the word "gay" is still being used as an insult in some circles. This is predominantly found in areas where late teen to twentysomething males (mostly) are found, like the gaming community. As many of you will know I am an avid gamer of just about every type, and I interact with people from this walk of life on a daily basis. Whether it be video games or collectible card game, you'd be lucky if hearing something being called "gay" is the least offensive thing you hear in one session. What's worse is that normally reasonable, intelligent gamers who don't use this sort of language also don't see any reason to get offended by it. Why? "Gay people use it too!"
Oh well that's alright then! Let's reignite that old argument shall we? Why not go back to the whole "if black people can say it why can't I?" thing. It doesn't matter who is saying it, IT IS WRONG. If someone is gay then they are gay and that's that, but calling someone gay, or worse a "fucking f****t", because they did something you don't like in a video game is never OK. EVER. The English language has so many lovely slang words to describe these people without having to resort to that. Calling me gay is no different from calling me white or old or bony: it's not an insult, it's just an error. When you descend to the level of denigration and start using the pejorative phrases, it infuriates me not because of what you are calling me, but because of how you are choosing to express your displeasure.
Let's bring this to the events of today, which prompted this post. A person rejoicing in the epithet "Dr_Jeebus" posted on Twitter that anyone who likes their steak well done is a retard. This led to me telling him that anyone who uses that term to attack a contrary opinion on the best way to cook a steak clearly has some issues. This led to a long diatribe about over-sensitivity and the use of the word "gay" to describe certain cards in the game Magic: the Gathering. He ended his rant with an invitation to all who disagreed with him to perform certain sexual acts on his person, which he then rescinded because "they'd probably all love to, so no they can't."
I wonder if anyone, anyone at all, would call a card, or a gun in a first-person shooting game, or a power-up in a racing game "black" or "crippled". Yes yes, some cards in Magic ARE black, I know. That's not what I meant and you know it. Why is either of those any different from using gay as a pejorative term? What's wrong with bad, awful, unplayable, fucking clown shoes or any other phrase meaning a similar thing? Why do we have to attack a group of people who have been under attack for so many years by taking a benign word and making it into something malignant?
For those interested this Dr_Jeebus, who is neither a doctor nor any type of saviour, safegaurds his anonymity on Twitter with a meticulousity that would impress the CIA. It's really easy to make hateful and inflammatory remarks on the internet when nobody knows who you are. We know he works at a card store in New England, we know he claims to be a DCI judge. That in and of itself is shocking to me, because as someone who wants to be a DCI judge I know that this sort of behaviour would be frowned upon most severely. He also has a "girlfriend" who pops up from time to time to defend him most vigorously in a very similar fashion.
He is largely irrelevant, however. This is an epidemic and it needs to stop. We are all people, and things like this should not be used to label us negatively. If someone is gay, good for them! Let's not make that mean something else, something less positive. I for one am done with it.
